Question: How do i fly my sasquatch to mars?

(Posted by: John Ruiz on 2010-01-21 10:58:11)

He isn't very energtic and i really wanna go to mars any help?

Posted by: Kaye on 2010-01-21, 13:11:59

In a rocket ship made of bread.

Posted by: sand in your shoe on 2010-01-21, 11:12:18

Sasquatches don't fly, they lumber along in the woods. Sorry, you can't fly him. You might think about sending him there first (without you)...attach him to a pile of balloons tied to a lawn chair. Up and away he goes. Don't go to Mars. Too hot. Try Florida instead, or Bahamas.

Posted by: Today is my birthday... (21st) on 2010-01-21, 13:36:04

Get a pole with a sausage tied to an attached hanging string and put the pole in front of his face so that the sausage will be in his view. Make sure to bring a paddle. Hold onto his back while holding the pole over his head so that the sausage is in front of his face. He will run forward for a few seconds gradually picking up speed. It is best to do this in an open area with no obstacles so that there will be no obstacles that he may bump into or any that could slow him down. After he picks up enough speed and still can't get the sausage he'll get frustrated and go super fast at tremendous speed. He will gradually run off the ground, getting higher and higher, as he runs in mid air. When he gets about 50,000 feet into the air take out the wooden paddle and whoop him on the butt, lower back, and hind legs to pick up more speed. Make sure to hold on because it can be pretty difficult at a certain rate. While riding your sasquatch, he may get kind of tired and out of energy which can be replenished with a snack such as doughnuts or beef jerky. Beef jerky is preferable. If you need to turn the sasquatch, simply turn the pole and he will move in any direction that the sausage is in. You should be to mars in no time.