Question: Funny psychic readings?

(Posted by: rac EAC Evil Atheist Conspiracy on 2008-10-31 21:18:06)

Can you suggest a few funny psychic readings, just for fun? Here's a sample... You will be hit by a falling hedgehog as you exit your door and spend the rest of your life thinking you're a sonnet by Shakespeare. You will be abducted by aliens, but when you get to their spacecraft the chief alien will say "Not this one! " and they'll send you right back. You will see a black cat crossing your path, and as you stare at it reach the other side you will walk straight into a signpost saying "watch your step ".

Posted by: Wadekins on 2008-10-31, 21:27:11

Tomorrow your life will take a turn for the worse. First, a swarm of flamingos decide to make their habitate inside of your house. Your boyfriend/ girlfriend will dump you for your highshcool math teacher. Your parents decide to convert their religion to satanism, stating they need to "spice things up ". After deciding to take a road trip to Wisconsin, you encounter a flat tire, and while fixing the flat, you discover a strange and mysterious UFO in the sky. They abduct you, take you out to dinner at Outback Steakhouse, and to see the new Batman movie. To top the day off, your Beethoven symphony collection will haunt you in your sleep until the day you lose your sanity, and end up in the hospital room your mother occupied giving birth to you. That do anything for you?

Posted by: Roxanne G on 2008-10-31, 21:20:56

You will stop writing dumb questions on yahoo answers forever

Posted by: Lola Cola (reported) on 2008-10-31, 21:21:00

At the end of the world there will be the second coming of Jesus...

Posted by: Gabby on 2008-10-31, 21:23:00

1) Next Monday afternoon you will have a sudden realisation that you are the enlightened one and proclaim this fact to everyone in Woolworths. Then you will go home and cry because you are christian. 2) an orange ball will fly through the air towards you, causing you to remember a past life in which you were a fly who got hit by a tennis raquet. you will spend the rest of your days in a retirement home.

Posted by: Alex on 2008-10-31, 21:25:45

Actually we need to be face to face for this. you'll have a big house, and a nice expensive sport car. when? in a few years. But oh, i also see a great pain in the near future. when? right now (and i knock you out). Actually i tried this lol, can't say the "client " was too happy about it lol

Posted by: hypno_toad1 on 2008-10-31, 21:26:41

You have been experiencing some feelings of paranoia. This is because they really are out to get you. Avoid old women with small dogs. That special package in the mail will turn out to be a subpoena. Your unlucky numbers are 12-67-42-4-33, whatever you do, don't play the lottery or do anything on days that have these numbers in them.

Posted by: Zelda on 2008-10-31, 21:27:35

I got a fortune cookie once that said, "Enjoy your life today - tomorrow may be too late. " or something along those lines. And when my husband and I got engaged, we went out to dinner and my fortune cookie said, "Happiness is right beside you. " His cookie didn't have a fortune, so we decided we will just have to share. But let's see... funny psychic readings... Some day you will meet a man...yes, I can see him now..he's between 5 and 7 feet tall... there's some hair... his name starts with a consonant...or possibly a vowel. You will have a conversation with this man, and it will change your life in some way. I sense some emotions here... yes, definite emotions. I can tell by the way that he walks that he is not an exotic pet salesman. That'll be 20 dollars please.

Posted by: masterwitchphd on 2008-10-31, 21:27:43

Try this: In your next life, you'll come back as your 3rd grade teacher. Putting up with someone like you times 20. You will find yourself in the shower, and the wash machine monster will steal all the clean towels in the house. You will spend sleepless nights wondering what those mismatch socks are doing in the bathroom./ / ~_~\\